The Perfect Guy

Everyone has a picture of their perfect guy or girl, the type of person you dream of meeting for years. Here's how I have always described my perfect guy. Tall, dark haired, sweet, kind of awkward and nerdy, loves marvel as much as I do, can make me laugh, and is just as sarcastic as I am. Well guys, I met him. He's literally everything I've ever dreamed of, we met because he will be attending the college in my hometown in the fall. His family knows mine so he stayed with us while at orientation. The thing is we've been getting their christmas cards for years and I always thought he was attractive, what I didn't know is that he's basically the coolest person ever. It was so fun having him here, we talked about Marvel and we seemed to have the same amount of sarcasm in the way we spoke. My sister had texted me after she left "OMG he's so precious" I replied "Haha I know!" she replied "marry him". When he left I added him on Facebook, eventually I messaged him. I was super nervous and worried he might not have liked me even though I thought we clicked really well. We chatted a bit on Facebook, I gave him my number, and we've be texting pretty much 24/7 ever since. I don't really know what to think completely, but right now I'm happier than I've ever been before so I think I'm just going to roll with it. So that's how I'm doing right now.
Xoxo Megan

Struggling

The past few months have been really hard for me, I have had an extremely hard time even just getting out of bed. I've felt so alone even though I'm not even close to being alone, I have so many friends who genuinely care about me I'm so lucky. I'm just trying to figure out what I want, and I have no idea how to do that. I'm just a kid but I feel like I should have everything figured out, but I don't! I had my first kiss recently I'm not talking to the guy anymore but he was really nice so I don't regret it. Something just keeps stopping me from being with anyone and I don't really know why, it's like the minute it gets serious I freak and run away. So I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now but I guess we'll have to figure it out... Thanks for listening.
Xoxo Megan

Prom

Prom is supposed to be a fun time with no worries but no not when you are hosting it. I am hosting and it sucks! Nobody tried to help me and when they didn't help me and when I made the plans I was told I made the wrong plans. Then they invite people that I specifically said I didn't want them there. Since they were the one who invited this girl I told my friend she had to be the one who tells her she isn't invited to sleepover, but my friend keeps saying she doesn't want to. You invited her she's your responsibility! Anyway so prom happened yesterday my dress looked gorgeous, but as we left the restaurant we ate at my zipper busted open so we made an emergency run to my friends house where we pinned it shut. We went to prom where I got to see basically all the guys I used to have "things" with there with their dates while I was all alone. When mine and my friends jam "Talk Dirty" came on one of my best girlfriends and I danced "dirty", so all the boys that didn't ask me missed out on seeing that. I got asked to slow dance by the guy who tried to ask me to homecoming this year the day after the guy I was dating at the time asked me, and we literally hadn't talked since he asked me, so that was kinda awkward. The hypnotist we had at post prom was AMAZING. And that's a brief synopsis of my prom!
Xoxo Megan

Me in the car before prom

My dress & hair

All the girls

Considering YouTube

Hello there, so I have been considering something for awhile and that is creating a YouTube channel. What do you guys think? Would you watch? I hope so. I've made and edited a video but I am afraid to upload I would love feedback!
Xoxo Megan

Sorry

This is me formally apologizing for not posting in forever. As well as other terrible things I have done.
I'm sorry if I ever called you a mean name.
I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad about yourself.
I'm sorry if I ever made you worry.
I'm sorry if my depression has affected you.
I'm sorry if my self harm scared you.
I'm sorry if anything I've done has offended you.
I'm sorry if you hate this post but I need to get these out.
I'm sorry if I've ever turned you down.
I'm sorry if I've broken your heart.
I'm sorry that I can't be perfect.
I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel inadequate.
I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry that I can't control how shitty things turn out.
I'm sorry if we are close and I never told you I was depressed.
I'm sorry if you were ever scared to lose me.
I'm sorry if you feel like you did lose me.
I'm just sorry for anything I've ever done that has caused harm to any of you.
And I'm sorry this post isn't funny. Like this if you think I should start a youtube channel... I'm considering it...
xoxo Megan

Annoying things boys do

Let's talk about annoying things boys do

1. They sag their mother fucking pants! like what is that!!!!!! YOU AIN'T NO THUG

2. They complain about their fast metabolism in front of girls without one. If you're gonna do that I will punch you. Just shut up now.

3. They do that thing where they talk to you once and they say everything right so you fall like instantly for some reason! Like what? Teach me your mind tricks!

4. They say gross things all the time!!!! Stooppppppp I don't care about the perverted things you think about

5. They are always violent for no reason. Whaaaaa?

6. They get their man period and won't admit they are being pissy!

7. They ignore you around their friends thinking they look cool. News Flash you look like a douche

8. They just stop talking to you out of the blue right after calling you cute and shit. Assholes

9. They never think of cute shit to do on their own they always need help

10. Lastly they belch. Like I burp but they take it to another level of nasty.

Super Bowl!

 It's super bowl sunday bitches!!!! And I am pumped more for the food because my team isn't playing... Stupid bears not winning lol so yay food. Broncos Seahawks who are you rooting for???
Xoxo Megan

Long Distance

So hey guys.. I'm going out of my mind about space. Mostly because a friend of mine's boyfriend lives in a different town in Iowa and he's like a couple hours or so away, and I hate how much that pains my friend. I know that they love each other a lot but I also see how frustrating it is for both of them to not know when they will see each other next and only being able to text and snap chat and face time which is the are minimum of seeing each other. I'm not saying long distance doesn't work I'm sure it does if you love each other enough, but I am saying that it sucks. And if I didn't know that by seeing my friend go through that I'm starting to experience it myself which is a terrible mistake, but it's happening sort of I don't actually know what's going on. I met this guy online and I know beware of catfish's and shit like that but I met him on an app called whisper which isn't like a regular website there''s no reason to pretend to be someone else, but that's beside the point. So I met this guy and m god is he gorgeous, but he's also so freaking sweet I can't handle it. Well we started talking and I found out he has been to my town many times and routes for my town's college which is just a bonus. Downside he is from a totally different state, and until yesterday was studying in France so when we talked I was at school and he was just getting home from school or I'd e eating dinner and he'd be going to bed because it was so far ahead making it so hard to talk. And today we stared snap chatting and damn I forgot how hot he is! He thinks I'm beautiful and has called me princess and I can't handle how much I'm starting to fall especially considering he's so far away... Did I mention he's single... What should I do? I need help... At the same time though I don't want to not talk to him... Help!
Xoxo Megan

Friendship

Ok so let's discuss friendship and the drama that goes with it. I have had my trust betrayed too many times to count. I had a friend let's call her.. Anna (not her actual name) So Anna and I were friends my freshman year and she betrayed my trust then by talking shit about the relationship at the time. So I stopped being friends with her.. Fast forward to the end of my sophomore early junior year, Anna and I are friends again and I feel that she has changed. So we are close and I tell her my secrets only to find out she's been telling all my secrets to another girl let's call her Amanda. So Anna and Amanda are off gossiping about me and all my other friends. When we stopped telling her things she kept going on about how she wanted us to trust her and how she would never want to betray our trust, but what did she always do? BETRAY OUR TRUST! So now I'm not friends with her and I bet she's probably talking shit about me to everyone who will listen... But get this I found out from one of my friends that over the summer when Anna & I were supposedly friends that when my friend told her I was talking to some guy he started cry and said that I'm "way less attractive then her so why should I get to talk to guys" so yeah when we were friends she called me ugly and said I didn't deserve to talk to guys... Classy. Funny considering never putting yourself out there means you probably won't talk to many guys just saying...

Second Semester

So today was my first day of the second semester at my less than amazing high school and it was well boring as hell! Nothing happened. The only good thing that really happened was that my friend from elementary school moved back. Sorry I have not posted in awhile not much has been happening... I watch netflix and sleep. Sorry this is also so short...
Xoxo Megan

Flirting

So flirting is a tricky thing, it's fun but at the same time it's awful! Sometimes you don't know if the other person is flirting back and that's so annoying! Some people such as my self are romantically challenged at don't know if a human is flirting. If you are flirting with me and you think I'm flirting with you (it's easy to tell I use a lot of winky smiley faces and emojis) compliment me by telling me I'm pretty that's easier to know if you are interested not saying "you're really fun to talk to" that bullshit is told to everyone that could mean you want me or it could mean let's be friends. It's too confusing!! I can't handle how unpredictable boys are! One day they like you the next there's a new girl who is better than you. At the same time it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't friendzone me... Haha but in all honesty the boys in my school aren't exactly prime prospects... And the ones that could be, like this adorable guy in my english class, are all friends with the people I don't like so I don't really talk to them... He's so cute though haha I wish i did talk to him... Oh well that will never happen.. That's my rant on flirting. I hate boys but I love boys...
Xoxo Megan

Depression & Anxiety

So as most of you know I used to be suicidal and I still struggle with depression. Well I'm struggling right now and I don't really know what to do because there is no reason for it and that pisses me off like there is no reason! Like what the fuck!? I think it's partially because I've been feeling lonely even though I know that breaking up with my ex was the right thing to do still it doesn't mean I want to be alone. I'm sick of being the friend who helps guys get the girls they want when they are the guys I could want it's so frustrating! Like why do I have to want everyone else to be happy but I don't seem to want myself to be happy! I can't stand myself. I'm just kinda done trying. I'm done chasing after any guys if they want me come get me (but be gentlemen). I'm just done putting people who don't care about me ahead of myself.
Xoxo Megan

Family

I come from an averaged size family I have one sister and my two parents but on my moms side I have 4 cousins and 5 aunts and uncles. On my dads side I have 3 like "step cousins" and 2 real cousins and just 2 aunts and uncles. So it's not huge but it feels big when we are together. But I'm the youngest on my mom's side so I'm always treated like a baby and that kinda sucks but I deal with it. On my mom's side everyone is very critical and very obnoxious and it's hard for me to deal with but I love them and they're my family so whatever I guess... I have nothing to talk about so any suggestions email me at justyouraverageteengirl522@gmail.com please! 
Xoxo Megan

Sleepovers!!!

I'm sleeping over at my best friends house tonight and I'm so fucking pumped because my friends and I haven't had a sleepover in forever! If you have ever wondered what girls do at a sleepover I'm about to fill you in. We laze around and watch movies eating more food than you probably thought was humanly possible because fuck it we'll eat what we want we're all single aint got nobody to impress regularly! We wear sweats and our hair is messy, we usually don't have make up on, and we just laugh and have fun. We created a vine account you should all follow called white girls vine. It's super funny. We've decided to call Fridays that we hang out Fat Fridays :)

Xoxo Megan

Blabbering

Guys I have a problem I have this dream of a perfect guy that I can't seem to get out of my head and it's not like my what I want in a guy or the crush because I don't really have a crush anymore. I have this picture of a guy in my head but I can't really see his face he has dark dark hair and he is tall and he wears plaid with a superhero t-shirt underneath, jeans and converse. And he makes me laugh and feel safe and our hands just fit together perfectly. It's all I can think about because like I don't feel desperate like I want to be single (or at least I don't want to rush into something with the wrong guy) but I just can't get this shit out of my head! I want him to exist right now I want him to be here and I want to like want to get all dressed up for him and have him just be like wow, but at the same time when I'm scrubbing it I want him to be like "Hey sexy;)". This is what I want I want a guy that always makes me feel special but is my best friend. But I don't think he exists in my life right now... And that makes me really sad because I feel like he just should like I can picture him for the most part but other than that he's just in my imagination...
Xoxo Megan

Winter Break

So winter break is just around the corner I only have to make it to friday and then I'm done! Unfortunately I have finals after break so I get to study all break and feel stressed weeeeeee! How about no. I have so many test and quizzes this week its unreal I've already taken 2 and I have a test in Algebra on Friday and a Physics quiz! why are my teachers trying to kill me!? My algebra teacher has given so much homework and when I was talking to this guy this is what he said about my teacher "She is trying to kill us she tests our endurance by this thing she calls "homework" then weeds out the failures. Next she makes the victors compete in the warfare of "finals" only one shall pass" Haha best thing ever! I almost died when he sent that to me. Well school still sucks!
Xoxo Megan

Having a Crush

Crushes are awesome because it's kind of the whole getting to know you phase, and if they flirt and shit it's great but sometimes if you are romantically challenged it takes a lot to know if someone is flirting with you. On the other hand if you don't think they might like you back it's hell simply because you just don't know. I hate the whole not knowing thing it drives me up the wall. Crushes are stupid an they are called crushes because they crush you when they don't work out.
Xoxo Megan

This is so accurate

Clothes at School

So I've picked up a few things in high school especially with how people dress, and I'd like to tell you all about it. We have the girls who wear super cute nice clothes basically everyday they are either super self conscious and that's just how they feel comfortable orrrrr they are a total stuck up snob and you can usually tell like the first few days you see them. There are people who wear sweats everyday and those people are either total slackers or they are super cool and just don't give a fuck about how they dress. There are people like me who wear a hoodie with basically everything because they put comfort first. Then you have the jocks who are super proud of the fact that they are jocks and they wear some sort of sports apparel everyday like damn wear a different shirt man (but if its a boy it's kinda cute, depends on personality). Lastly the people who dress crazy and I do mean crazy there is a girl at my school with hair longer than mine who spikes it into a mohawk. That's really all I have to say.
Xoxo Megan

What I Like in a Guy

Let's start with a list shall we, no particular order I'll dive further into it in a moment
1. Funny
2. Sweet
3. Kind
4. Isn't a huge slacker
5. Likes to cuddle but isn't annoyingly touchy feely
6. Good looking
7. Active
8. Someone I can be comfortable with but still excited to see
9. My best friend but also someone I love
10. Not full of themselves
11. Doesn't text a bunch of other girls all the time

So those are some of the things I want in a guy. I want someone who makes me laugh because my dad is so funny and I love to laugh. Sweet because who wants to date an asshole? Same with kind. Even though I'm in high school I don't really want to be with someone who slacks off and doesn't care about school or where they are going with their lives. I'm not hugely touchy feely but I want someone who wants to hug and kiss and cuddle but not like on me while I'm trying to talk to my friends or whatever. Don't even try to call me a bitch for wanting someone good looking, everybody wants someone they find some what good looking. We all know physical attraction is what makes you want to talk to someone in the first place! I like active because I'm active and if the guy is sitting around while I'm out I feel awful. I love the nervous feeling when you see someone you like but you still comfortably talk to them. I want someone I can tell my secrets to but still finds me sexy and attractive. I personally find humble very attractive having a massive ego is a huge turn off! Texting like 5 other girls when you're dating me is a massive deal breaker sorry but no. That's what I want in a guy.
Xoxo Megan

Break Ups

So I really didn't want to have to write this but I feel it necessary considering I have shared so much of my life with all of you already, but This past week I broke up with my boyfriend and it was something I had wrestled with it for a couple of days. I had gone away for the weekend for thanksgiving at my aunts house. It sort of kick started in my head wondering if the relationship was right when I told him I was leaving for the weekend and he was all "I won't see you for three weeks omg even though we see each other at school everyday we won't be able to hang out outside of school"... I'm one of those girls who it's like oh we are hanging out? cool, oh you want a boys night? awesome that means I get a guilt free girls night, oh you pulled some super fun thing to do out of your ass? even better. I'm not a needy girlfriend and I can't handle a needy boyfriend!! I'm not that girl that has to talk to a boy 24/7, like yeah it's really fun when you are first getting to know each other and you text all the time and you never get bored of each other. That phase wears off and for me it wore off quickly... I like to sit at home and watch netflix, or when its super nice out I want you to be like wanna go get snowcones? (I love being outside but not when it's colder than frosty the snowman's balls!) I like being at my grandparents because I get to drive his gator and do target practice with his guns that's the kind of girl I am but don't think that means I don't like to look pretty while doing it. I had lost the want to look pretty for him I found myself constantly wearing sweats. You know that feeling when you like someone and the thought of seeing them gives you butterflies and you like that feeling because it means you're excited I never had that... Back to the story.. We were very different and not in a good opposites attract way. And it didn't exactly help that a cute boy who is best friends with my friends ex texted me that and he's really cool and more similar to me so that made it all kind of spiral. I talked to my friends and got their opinions and well we broke up the next day... But I'm not sad I think we both need people more similar ad who enjoy our stupid little quarks. That's all for now join me later to find out what I want in guy ;)
Xoxo Megan