Prom

Prom is supposed to be a fun time with no worries but no not when you are hosting it. I am hosting and it sucks! Nobody tried to help me and when they didn't help me and when I made the plans I was told I made the wrong plans. Then they invite people that I specifically said I didn't want them there. Since they were the one who invited this girl I told my friend she had to be the one who tells her she isn't invited to sleepover, but my friend keeps saying she doesn't want to. You invited her she's your responsibility! Anyway so prom happened yesterday my dress looked gorgeous, but as we left the restaurant we ate at my zipper busted open so we made an emergency run to my friends house where we pinned it shut. We went to prom where I got to see basically all the guys I used to have "things" with there with their dates while I was all alone. When mine and my friends jam "Talk Dirty" came on one of my best girlfriends and I danced "dirty", so all the boys that didn't ask me missed out on seeing that. I got asked to slow dance by the guy who tried to ask me to homecoming this year the day after the guy I was dating at the time asked me, and we literally hadn't talked since he asked me, so that was kinda awkward. The hypnotist we had at post prom was AMAZING. And that's a brief synopsis of my prom!
Xoxo Megan

Me in the car before prom

My dress & hair

All the girls

Friendship

Ok so let's discuss friendship and the drama that goes with it. I have had my trust betrayed too many times to count. I had a friend let's call her.. Anna (not her actual name) So Anna and I were friends my freshman year and she betrayed my trust then by talking shit about the relationship at the time. So I stopped being friends with her.. Fast forward to the end of my sophomore early junior year, Anna and I are friends again and I feel that she has changed. So we are close and I tell her my secrets only to find out she's been telling all my secrets to another girl let's call her Amanda. So Anna and Amanda are off gossiping about me and all my other friends. When we stopped telling her things she kept going on about how she wanted us to trust her and how she would never want to betray our trust, but what did she always do? BETRAY OUR TRUST! So now I'm not friends with her and I bet she's probably talking shit about me to everyone who will listen... But get this I found out from one of my friends that over the summer when Anna & I were supposedly friends that when my friend told her I was talking to some guy he started cry and said that I'm "way less attractive then her so why should I get to talk to guys" so yeah when we were friends she called me ugly and said I didn't deserve to talk to guys... Classy. Funny considering never putting yourself out there means you probably won't talk to many guys just saying...

Second Semester

So today was my first day of the second semester at my less than amazing high school and it was well boring as hell! Nothing happened. The only good thing that really happened was that my friend from elementary school moved back. Sorry I have not posted in awhile not much has been happening... I watch netflix and sleep. Sorry this is also so short...
Xoxo Megan

Flirting

So flirting is a tricky thing, it's fun but at the same time it's awful! Sometimes you don't know if the other person is flirting back and that's so annoying! Some people such as my self are romantically challenged at don't know if a human is flirting. If you are flirting with me and you think I'm flirting with you (it's easy to tell I use a lot of winky smiley faces and emojis) compliment me by telling me I'm pretty that's easier to know if you are interested not saying "you're really fun to talk to" that bullshit is told to everyone that could mean you want me or it could mean let's be friends. It's too confusing!! I can't handle how unpredictable boys are! One day they like you the next there's a new girl who is better than you. At the same time it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't friendzone me... Haha but in all honesty the boys in my school aren't exactly prime prospects... And the ones that could be, like this adorable guy in my english class, are all friends with the people I don't like so I don't really talk to them... He's so cute though haha I wish i did talk to him... Oh well that will never happen.. That's my rant on flirting. I hate boys but I love boys...
Xoxo Megan

Depression & Anxiety

So as most of you know I used to be suicidal and I still struggle with depression. Well I'm struggling right now and I don't really know what to do because there is no reason for it and that pisses me off like there is no reason! Like what the fuck!? I think it's partially because I've been feeling lonely even though I know that breaking up with my ex was the right thing to do still it doesn't mean I want to be alone. I'm sick of being the friend who helps guys get the girls they want when they are the guys I could want it's so frustrating! Like why do I have to want everyone else to be happy but I don't seem to want myself to be happy! I can't stand myself. I'm just kinda done trying. I'm done chasing after any guys if they want me come get me (but be gentlemen). I'm just done putting people who don't care about me ahead of myself.
Xoxo Megan

Blabbering

Guys I have a problem I have this dream of a perfect guy that I can't seem to get out of my head and it's not like my what I want in a guy or the crush because I don't really have a crush anymore. I have this picture of a guy in my head but I can't really see his face he has dark dark hair and he is tall and he wears plaid with a superhero t-shirt underneath, jeans and converse. And he makes me laugh and feel safe and our hands just fit together perfectly. It's all I can think about because like I don't feel desperate like I want to be single (or at least I don't want to rush into something with the wrong guy) but I just can't get this shit out of my head! I want him to exist right now I want him to be here and I want to like want to get all dressed up for him and have him just be like wow, but at the same time when I'm scrubbing it I want him to be like "Hey sexy;)". This is what I want I want a guy that always makes me feel special but is my best friend. But I don't think he exists in my life right now... And that makes me really sad because I feel like he just should like I can picture him for the most part but other than that he's just in my imagination...
Xoxo Megan

Winter Break

So winter break is just around the corner I only have to make it to friday and then I'm done! Unfortunately I have finals after break so I get to study all break and feel stressed weeeeeee! How about no. I have so many test and quizzes this week its unreal I've already taken 2 and I have a test in Algebra on Friday and a Physics quiz! why are my teachers trying to kill me!? My algebra teacher has given so much homework and when I was talking to this guy this is what he said about my teacher "She is trying to kill us she tests our endurance by this thing she calls "homework" then weeds out the failures. Next she makes the victors compete in the warfare of "finals" only one shall pass" Haha best thing ever! I almost died when he sent that to me. Well school still sucks!
Xoxo Megan

Clothes at School

So I've picked up a few things in high school especially with how people dress, and I'd like to tell you all about it. We have the girls who wear super cute nice clothes basically everyday they are either super self conscious and that's just how they feel comfortable orrrrr they are a total stuck up snob and you can usually tell like the first few days you see them. There are people who wear sweats everyday and those people are either total slackers or they are super cool and just don't give a fuck about how they dress. There are people like me who wear a hoodie with basically everything because they put comfort first. Then you have the jocks who are super proud of the fact that they are jocks and they wear some sort of sports apparel everyday like damn wear a different shirt man (but if its a boy it's kinda cute, depends on personality). Lastly the people who dress crazy and I do mean crazy there is a girl at my school with hair longer than mine who spikes it into a mohawk. That's really all I have to say.
Xoxo Megan

Break Ups

So I really didn't want to have to write this but I feel it necessary considering I have shared so much of my life with all of you already, but This past week I broke up with my boyfriend and it was something I had wrestled with it for a couple of days. I had gone away for the weekend for thanksgiving at my aunts house. It sort of kick started in my head wondering if the relationship was right when I told him I was leaving for the weekend and he was all "I won't see you for three weeks omg even though we see each other at school everyday we won't be able to hang out outside of school"... I'm one of those girls who it's like oh we are hanging out? cool, oh you want a boys night? awesome that means I get a guilt free girls night, oh you pulled some super fun thing to do out of your ass? even better. I'm not a needy girlfriend and I can't handle a needy boyfriend!! I'm not that girl that has to talk to a boy 24/7, like yeah it's really fun when you are first getting to know each other and you text all the time and you never get bored of each other. That phase wears off and for me it wore off quickly... I like to sit at home and watch netflix, or when its super nice out I want you to be like wanna go get snowcones? (I love being outside but not when it's colder than frosty the snowman's balls!) I like being at my grandparents because I get to drive his gator and do target practice with his guns that's the kind of girl I am but don't think that means I don't like to look pretty while doing it. I had lost the want to look pretty for him I found myself constantly wearing sweats. You know that feeling when you like someone and the thought of seeing them gives you butterflies and you like that feeling because it means you're excited I never had that... Back to the story.. We were very different and not in a good opposites attract way. And it didn't exactly help that a cute boy who is best friends with my friends ex texted me that and he's really cool and more similar to me so that made it all kind of spiral. I talked to my friends and got their opinions and well we broke up the next day... But I'm not sad I think we both need people more similar ad who enjoy our stupid little quarks. That's all for now join me later to find out what I want in guy ;)
Xoxo Megan

Drama

So let's talk some old drama of mine drama I don't have to really deal with but still drama. She was extremely selfish and all she seemed to care about was having a boyfriend. The beginning of sophomore year my friend Liz and her boyfriend had been broken up for a little while and they were friends but not really anyway, she claimed to be Liz's best friend was flirting with Liz's boyfriend like wtf girl code rule #1 the ex is always off limits!!! DUH! Then a few months later once she was over Liz's ex she started flirting with Austin (he and I had broken up for a while last year) I found out she was flirting with him the day I had left for vacation. She claimed to be my friend. At this point I was so sick of her shit so I was done being her friend. Well she didn't even stop she went on to do the same thing to my acquaintance Hannah? WHO THE HELL JUST GOES AROUND HITTING ON THEIR "BEST FRIEND'S" EX'S?!?!?! Needless to say we aren't really friends anymore. That doesn't mean that we are mean to her we are all in the same girl scout troop (not Hannah) so we are nice to her. That's my life
Xoxo Megan

Relationships

On saturday Austin and I made it "Facebook official" meaning we are officially boyfriend & girlfriend blah blah blah shit no one cares about. It was really sweet he got me a beautiful necklace and some yummy nice chocolate. He's absolutely amazing and I love him, but that is beside the point. Relationships are hard and they take effort you don't just have a boyfriend or girlfriend and just do whatever you want. You need to spend time together and talk. You have to communicate. One of my friends sometimes seems obsessed with relationships which you'll never be happy in a relationship if you are just searching for one you have to let it happen when it is meant to happen. Don't rush into anything and don't push for it to happen if it's meant to happen it will.

The necklace

Homecoming Week

Homecoming week is a tricky topic, because everyone treats it differently. You have the try-hards the people who go all out for every theme of every day. The semi-try-hards who go all out on one or two of the themes because the have the stuff for it or they just really like it. The people who half-ass participate and like wear the homecoming shirt or do the basic line of trying. Last but not least the people who don't care and are totally against school spirit or think homecoming is the dumbest thing ever, they kind of suck because they go around spreading their teen angst. I'm in between sem-try-hard and half-ass participate. I'd participate a lot more if the themes we had were better. The theme this year is "Throwback to the fifties" which kinda sucks but oh well. I'm so excited for homecoming this year because I have the best date ever and a huge group of approximately 15 people. It kind of sucks because it will be homecoming in a splint for my ankle but oh well I'll make do. I just got my hair cut and I have my dress the perfect heels for pictures and my sister is coming home to do my hair I can't wait for saturday! I'll try to post pictures Sunday!
xoxo Megan