Prom

Prom is supposed to be a fun time with no worries but no not when you are hosting it. I am hosting and it sucks! Nobody tried to help me and when they didn't help me and when I made the plans I was told I made the wrong plans. Then they invite people that I specifically said I didn't want them there. Since they were the one who invited this girl I told my friend she had to be the one who tells her she isn't invited to sleepover, but my friend keeps saying she doesn't want to. You invited her she's your responsibility! Anyway so prom happened yesterday my dress looked gorgeous, but as we left the restaurant we ate at my zipper busted open so we made an emergency run to my friends house where we pinned it shut. We went to prom where I got to see basically all the guys I used to have "things" with there with their dates while I was all alone. When mine and my friends jam "Talk Dirty" came on one of my best girlfriends and I danced "dirty", so all the boys that didn't ask me missed out on seeing that. I got asked to slow dance by the guy who tried to ask me to homecoming this year the day after the guy I was dating at the time asked me, and we literally hadn't talked since he asked me, so that was kinda awkward. The hypnotist we had at post prom was AMAZING. And that's a brief synopsis of my prom!
Xoxo Megan

Me in the car before prom

My dress & hair

All the girls

Long Distance

So hey guys.. I'm going out of my mind about space. Mostly because a friend of mine's boyfriend lives in a different town in Iowa and he's like a couple hours or so away, and I hate how much that pains my friend. I know that they love each other a lot but I also see how frustrating it is for both of them to not know when they will see each other next and only being able to text and snap chat and face time which is the are minimum of seeing each other. I'm not saying long distance doesn't work I'm sure it does if you love each other enough, but I am saying that it sucks. And if I didn't know that by seeing my friend go through that I'm starting to experience it myself which is a terrible mistake, but it's happening sort of I don't actually know what's going on. I met this guy online and I know beware of catfish's and shit like that but I met him on an app called whisper which isn't like a regular website there''s no reason to pretend to be someone else, but that's beside the point. So I met this guy and m god is he gorgeous, but he's also so freaking sweet I can't handle it. Well we started talking and I found out he has been to my town many times and routes for my town's college which is just a bonus. Downside he is from a totally different state, and until yesterday was studying in France so when we talked I was at school and he was just getting home from school or I'd e eating dinner and he'd be going to bed because it was so far ahead making it so hard to talk. And today we stared snap chatting and damn I forgot how hot he is! He thinks I'm beautiful and has called me princess and I can't handle how much I'm starting to fall especially considering he's so far away... Did I mention he's single... What should I do? I need help... At the same time though I don't want to not talk to him... Help!
Xoxo Megan

Friendship

Ok so let's discuss friendship and the drama that goes with it. I have had my trust betrayed too many times to count. I had a friend let's call her.. Anna (not her actual name) So Anna and I were friends my freshman year and she betrayed my trust then by talking shit about the relationship at the time. So I stopped being friends with her.. Fast forward to the end of my sophomore early junior year, Anna and I are friends again and I feel that she has changed. So we are close and I tell her my secrets only to find out she's been telling all my secrets to another girl let's call her Amanda. So Anna and Amanda are off gossiping about me and all my other friends. When we stopped telling her things she kept going on about how she wanted us to trust her and how she would never want to betray our trust, but what did she always do? BETRAY OUR TRUST! So now I'm not friends with her and I bet she's probably talking shit about me to everyone who will listen... But get this I found out from one of my friends that over the summer when Anna & I were supposedly friends that when my friend told her I was talking to some guy he started cry and said that I'm "way less attractive then her so why should I get to talk to guys" so yeah when we were friends she called me ugly and said I didn't deserve to talk to guys... Classy. Funny considering never putting yourself out there means you probably won't talk to many guys just saying...

Flirting

So flirting is a tricky thing, it's fun but at the same time it's awful! Sometimes you don't know if the other person is flirting back and that's so annoying! Some people such as my self are romantically challenged at don't know if a human is flirting. If you are flirting with me and you think I'm flirting with you (it's easy to tell I use a lot of winky smiley faces and emojis) compliment me by telling me I'm pretty that's easier to know if you are interested not saying "you're really fun to talk to" that bullshit is told to everyone that could mean you want me or it could mean let's be friends. It's too confusing!! I can't handle how unpredictable boys are! One day they like you the next there's a new girl who is better than you. At the same time it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't friendzone me... Haha but in all honesty the boys in my school aren't exactly prime prospects... And the ones that could be, like this adorable guy in my english class, are all friends with the people I don't like so I don't really talk to them... He's so cute though haha I wish i did talk to him... Oh well that will never happen.. That's my rant on flirting. I hate boys but I love boys...
Xoxo Megan

Depression & Anxiety

So as most of you know I used to be suicidal and I still struggle with depression. Well I'm struggling right now and I don't really know what to do because there is no reason for it and that pisses me off like there is no reason! Like what the fuck!? I think it's partially because I've been feeling lonely even though I know that breaking up with my ex was the right thing to do still it doesn't mean I want to be alone. I'm sick of being the friend who helps guys get the girls they want when they are the guys I could want it's so frustrating! Like why do I have to want everyone else to be happy but I don't seem to want myself to be happy! I can't stand myself. I'm just kinda done trying. I'm done chasing after any guys if they want me come get me (but be gentlemen). I'm just done putting people who don't care about me ahead of myself.
Xoxo Megan

Break Ups

So I really didn't want to have to write this but I feel it necessary considering I have shared so much of my life with all of you already, but This past week I broke up with my boyfriend and it was something I had wrestled with it for a couple of days. I had gone away for the weekend for thanksgiving at my aunts house. It sort of kick started in my head wondering if the relationship was right when I told him I was leaving for the weekend and he was all "I won't see you for three weeks omg even though we see each other at school everyday we won't be able to hang out outside of school"... I'm one of those girls who it's like oh we are hanging out? cool, oh you want a boys night? awesome that means I get a guilt free girls night, oh you pulled some super fun thing to do out of your ass? even better. I'm not a needy girlfriend and I can't handle a needy boyfriend!! I'm not that girl that has to talk to a boy 24/7, like yeah it's really fun when you are first getting to know each other and you text all the time and you never get bored of each other. That phase wears off and for me it wore off quickly... I like to sit at home and watch netflix, or when its super nice out I want you to be like wanna go get snowcones? (I love being outside but not when it's colder than frosty the snowman's balls!) I like being at my grandparents because I get to drive his gator and do target practice with his guns that's the kind of girl I am but don't think that means I don't like to look pretty while doing it. I had lost the want to look pretty for him I found myself constantly wearing sweats. You know that feeling when you like someone and the thought of seeing them gives you butterflies and you like that feeling because it means you're excited I never had that... Back to the story.. We were very different and not in a good opposites attract way. And it didn't exactly help that a cute boy who is best friends with my friends ex texted me that and he's really cool and more similar to me so that made it all kind of spiral. I talked to my friends and got their opinions and well we broke up the next day... But I'm not sad I think we both need people more similar ad who enjoy our stupid little quarks. That's all for now join me later to find out what I want in guy ;)
Xoxo Megan

Halloween

So Halloween is just around the corner and I will be going to two different Halloween parties one Saturday and one Sunday because I do not have school Monday! Yay end of quarter! Well the first one is at one of my best friends house it's Elizabeth who has a blog also http://white-girl-diaries.blogspot.com/ it's pretty funny. Well I'm going and I'm excited because I'm gonna half-ass being Iron Man, and for the one I have Sunday I think I'm going to be a greek goddess. I will be attending both with my wonderful boyfriend,  but I think he is wearing some morph suit which I'm not exactly happy about but it's whatever I love that boy anyway. I love Halloween yummy candy, fall leaves, scary movies I love it all!!! What's your favorite thing about Halloween and/or fall?
xoxo Megan

Relationships

On saturday Austin and I made it "Facebook official" meaning we are officially boyfriend & girlfriend blah blah blah shit no one cares about. It was really sweet he got me a beautiful necklace and some yummy nice chocolate. He's absolutely amazing and I love him, but that is beside the point. Relationships are hard and they take effort you don't just have a boyfriend or girlfriend and just do whatever you want. You need to spend time together and talk. You have to communicate. One of my friends sometimes seems obsessed with relationships which you'll never be happy in a relationship if you are just searching for one you have to let it happen when it is meant to happen. Don't rush into anything and don't push for it to happen if it's meant to happen it will.

The necklace

Homecoming Dance

So last night was my junior year homecoming dance and even though my dress had to be pinned because it was way too big and my ankle was kinda sore it was really fun. My date was Austin he's my best friend and kind of my boyfriend. I've never had a date before it was a whole new thing for me but I really liked it. The music wasn't that great but it was still fun. I hope that everyone who has their Homecoming dance coming or had it recently went or is going because it's good to make the memories while you still can.
xoxo Megan

Whole Group

All the girls

Me, Elizabeth, Alissa, and Katie

Austin and I