The Perfect Guy

Everyone has a picture of their perfect guy or girl, the type of person you dream of meeting for years. Here's how I have always described my perfect guy. Tall, dark haired, sweet, kind of awkward and nerdy, loves marvel as much as I do, can make me laugh, and is just as sarcastic as I am. Well guys, I met him. He's literally everything I've ever dreamed of, we met because he will be attending the college in my hometown in the fall. His family knows mine so he stayed with us while at orientation. The thing is we've been getting their christmas cards for years and I always thought he was attractive, what I didn't know is that he's basically the coolest person ever. It was so fun having him here, we talked about Marvel and we seemed to have the same amount of sarcasm in the way we spoke. My sister had texted me after she left "OMG he's so precious" I replied "Haha I know!" she replied "marry him". When he left I added him on Facebook, eventually I messaged him. I was super nervous and worried he might not have liked me even though I thought we clicked really well. We chatted a bit on Facebook, I gave him my number, and we've be texting pretty much 24/7 ever since. I don't really know what to think completely, but right now I'm happier than I've ever been before so I think I'm just going to roll with it. So that's how I'm doing right now.
Xoxo Megan

Long Distance

So hey guys.. I'm going out of my mind about space. Mostly because a friend of mine's boyfriend lives in a different town in Iowa and he's like a couple hours or so away, and I hate how much that pains my friend. I know that they love each other a lot but I also see how frustrating it is for both of them to not know when they will see each other next and only being able to text and snap chat and face time which is the are minimum of seeing each other. I'm not saying long distance doesn't work I'm sure it does if you love each other enough, but I am saying that it sucks. And if I didn't know that by seeing my friend go through that I'm starting to experience it myself which is a terrible mistake, but it's happening sort of I don't actually know what's going on. I met this guy online and I know beware of catfish's and shit like that but I met him on an app called whisper which isn't like a regular website there''s no reason to pretend to be someone else, but that's beside the point. So I met this guy and m god is he gorgeous, but he's also so freaking sweet I can't handle it. Well we started talking and I found out he has been to my town many times and routes for my town's college which is just a bonus. Downside he is from a totally different state, and until yesterday was studying in France so when we talked I was at school and he was just getting home from school or I'd e eating dinner and he'd be going to bed because it was so far ahead making it so hard to talk. And today we stared snap chatting and damn I forgot how hot he is! He thinks I'm beautiful and has called me princess and I can't handle how much I'm starting to fall especially considering he's so far away... Did I mention he's single... What should I do? I need help... At the same time though I don't want to not talk to him... Help!
Xoxo Megan

Flirting

So flirting is a tricky thing, it's fun but at the same time it's awful! Sometimes you don't know if the other person is flirting back and that's so annoying! Some people such as my self are romantically challenged at don't know if a human is flirting. If you are flirting with me and you think I'm flirting with you (it's easy to tell I use a lot of winky smiley faces and emojis) compliment me by telling me I'm pretty that's easier to know if you are interested not saying "you're really fun to talk to" that bullshit is told to everyone that could mean you want me or it could mean let's be friends. It's too confusing!! I can't handle how unpredictable boys are! One day they like you the next there's a new girl who is better than you. At the same time it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't friendzone me... Haha but in all honesty the boys in my school aren't exactly prime prospects... And the ones that could be, like this adorable guy in my english class, are all friends with the people I don't like so I don't really talk to them... He's so cute though haha I wish i did talk to him... Oh well that will never happen.. That's my rant on flirting. I hate boys but I love boys...
Xoxo Megan

Depression & Anxiety

So as most of you know I used to be suicidal and I still struggle with depression. Well I'm struggling right now and I don't really know what to do because there is no reason for it and that pisses me off like there is no reason! Like what the fuck!? I think it's partially because I've been feeling lonely even though I know that breaking up with my ex was the right thing to do still it doesn't mean I want to be alone. I'm sick of being the friend who helps guys get the girls they want when they are the guys I could want it's so frustrating! Like why do I have to want everyone else to be happy but I don't seem to want myself to be happy! I can't stand myself. I'm just kinda done trying. I'm done chasing after any guys if they want me come get me (but be gentlemen). I'm just done putting people who don't care about me ahead of myself.
Xoxo Megan

Blabbering

Guys I have a problem I have this dream of a perfect guy that I can't seem to get out of my head and it's not like my what I want in a guy or the crush because I don't really have a crush anymore. I have this picture of a guy in my head but I can't really see his face he has dark dark hair and he is tall and he wears plaid with a superhero t-shirt underneath, jeans and converse. And he makes me laugh and feel safe and our hands just fit together perfectly. It's all I can think about because like I don't feel desperate like I want to be single (or at least I don't want to rush into something with the wrong guy) but I just can't get this shit out of my head! I want him to exist right now I want him to be here and I want to like want to get all dressed up for him and have him just be like wow, but at the same time when I'm scrubbing it I want him to be like "Hey sexy;)". This is what I want I want a guy that always makes me feel special but is my best friend. But I don't think he exists in my life right now... And that makes me really sad because I feel like he just should like I can picture him for the most part but other than that he's just in my imagination...
Xoxo Megan

What I Like in a Guy

Let's start with a list shall we, no particular order I'll dive further into it in a moment
1. Funny
2. Sweet
3. Kind
4. Isn't a huge slacker
5. Likes to cuddle but isn't annoyingly touchy feely
6. Good looking
7. Active
8. Someone I can be comfortable with but still excited to see
9. My best friend but also someone I love
10. Not full of themselves
11. Doesn't text a bunch of other girls all the time

So those are some of the things I want in a guy. I want someone who makes me laugh because my dad is so funny and I love to laugh. Sweet because who wants to date an asshole? Same with kind. Even though I'm in high school I don't really want to be with someone who slacks off and doesn't care about school or where they are going with their lives. I'm not hugely touchy feely but I want someone who wants to hug and kiss and cuddle but not like on me while I'm trying to talk to my friends or whatever. Don't even try to call me a bitch for wanting someone good looking, everybody wants someone they find some what good looking. We all know physical attraction is what makes you want to talk to someone in the first place! I like active because I'm active and if the guy is sitting around while I'm out I feel awful. I love the nervous feeling when you see someone you like but you still comfortably talk to them. I want someone I can tell my secrets to but still finds me sexy and attractive. I personally find humble very attractive having a massive ego is a huge turn off! Texting like 5 other girls when you're dating me is a massive deal breaker sorry but no. That's what I want in a guy.
Xoxo Megan

Break Ups

So I really didn't want to have to write this but I feel it necessary considering I have shared so much of my life with all of you already, but This past week I broke up with my boyfriend and it was something I had wrestled with it for a couple of days. I had gone away for the weekend for thanksgiving at my aunts house. It sort of kick started in my head wondering if the relationship was right when I told him I was leaving for the weekend and he was all "I won't see you for three weeks omg even though we see each other at school everyday we won't be able to hang out outside of school"... I'm one of those girls who it's like oh we are hanging out? cool, oh you want a boys night? awesome that means I get a guilt free girls night, oh you pulled some super fun thing to do out of your ass? even better. I'm not a needy girlfriend and I can't handle a needy boyfriend!! I'm not that girl that has to talk to a boy 24/7, like yeah it's really fun when you are first getting to know each other and you text all the time and you never get bored of each other. That phase wears off and for me it wore off quickly... I like to sit at home and watch netflix, or when its super nice out I want you to be like wanna go get snowcones? (I love being outside but not when it's colder than frosty the snowman's balls!) I like being at my grandparents because I get to drive his gator and do target practice with his guns that's the kind of girl I am but don't think that means I don't like to look pretty while doing it. I had lost the want to look pretty for him I found myself constantly wearing sweats. You know that feeling when you like someone and the thought of seeing them gives you butterflies and you like that feeling because it means you're excited I never had that... Back to the story.. We were very different and not in a good opposites attract way. And it didn't exactly help that a cute boy who is best friends with my friends ex texted me that and he's really cool and more similar to me so that made it all kind of spiral. I talked to my friends and got their opinions and well we broke up the next day... But I'm not sad I think we both need people more similar ad who enjoy our stupid little quarks. That's all for now join me later to find out what I want in guy ;)
Xoxo Megan

Love.

The topic of love is a tricky thing. It's so complicated, sometimes you fall for someone and sometimes you fall in love with someone. There is a huge difference between the two but sometimes you do both for/with one person. When you fall for someone you just really like them and you can't guarantee that it will ever actually be love, but you know you care about them. When you fall in love with someone you know in your heart that you love them pretty much right away. It's kind of hard because you just want to say it but you don't want to rush anything. I've only been in love with one person and he's the most amazing person I've ever met. It's a wonderful feeling being in love. It's probably the happiest I've ever been. It's weird to be telling people I most likely don't know about this because it's so personal but it's good to talk about. Don't think that you need someone else to feel happy. You have to be happy with yourself first or it will never work out. Never ever think that you need someone else to be happy you can be very happy by yourself, better to be happy alone than sad in a relationship.
xoxo Megan