Long Distance

So hey guys.. I'm going out of my mind about space. Mostly because a friend of mine's boyfriend lives in a different town in Iowa and he's like a couple hours or so away, and I hate how much that pains my friend. I know that they love each other a lot but I also see how frustrating it is for both of them to not know when they will see each other next and only being able to text and snap chat and face time which is the are minimum of seeing each other. I'm not saying long distance doesn't work I'm sure it does if you love each other enough, but I am saying that it sucks. And if I didn't know that by seeing my friend go through that I'm starting to experience it myself which is a terrible mistake, but it's happening sort of I don't actually know what's going on. I met this guy online and I know beware of catfish's and shit like that but I met him on an app called whisper which isn't like a regular website there''s no reason to pretend to be someone else, but that's beside the point. So I met this guy and m god is he gorgeous, but he's also so freaking sweet I can't handle it. Well we started talking and I found out he has been to my town many times and routes for my town's college which is just a bonus. Downside he is from a totally different state, and until yesterday was studying in France so when we talked I was at school and he was just getting home from school or I'd e eating dinner and he'd be going to bed because it was so far ahead making it so hard to talk. And today we stared snap chatting and damn I forgot how hot he is! He thinks I'm beautiful and has called me princess and I can't handle how much I'm starting to fall especially considering he's so far away... Did I mention he's single... What should I do? I need help... At the same time though I don't want to not talk to him... Help!
Xoxo Megan

Friendship

Ok so let's discuss friendship and the drama that goes with it. I have had my trust betrayed too many times to count. I had a friend let's call her.. Anna (not her actual name) So Anna and I were friends my freshman year and she betrayed my trust then by talking shit about the relationship at the time. So I stopped being friends with her.. Fast forward to the end of my sophomore early junior year, Anna and I are friends again and I feel that she has changed. So we are close and I tell her my secrets only to find out she's been telling all my secrets to another girl let's call her Amanda. So Anna and Amanda are off gossiping about me and all my other friends. When we stopped telling her things she kept going on about how she wanted us to trust her and how she would never want to betray our trust, but what did she always do? BETRAY OUR TRUST! So now I'm not friends with her and I bet she's probably talking shit about me to everyone who will listen... But get this I found out from one of my friends that over the summer when Anna & I were supposedly friends that when my friend told her I was talking to some guy he started cry and said that I'm "way less attractive then her so why should I get to talk to guys" so yeah when we were friends she called me ugly and said I didn't deserve to talk to guys... Classy. Funny considering never putting yourself out there means you probably won't talk to many guys just saying...

Flirting

So flirting is a tricky thing, it's fun but at the same time it's awful! Sometimes you don't know if the other person is flirting back and that's so annoying! Some people such as my self are romantically challenged at don't know if a human is flirting. If you are flirting with me and you think I'm flirting with you (it's easy to tell I use a lot of winky smiley faces and emojis) compliment me by telling me I'm pretty that's easier to know if you are interested not saying "you're really fun to talk to" that bullshit is told to everyone that could mean you want me or it could mean let's be friends. It's too confusing!! I can't handle how unpredictable boys are! One day they like you the next there's a new girl who is better than you. At the same time it's hard enough to find someone who doesn't friendzone me... Haha but in all honesty the boys in my school aren't exactly prime prospects... And the ones that could be, like this adorable guy in my english class, are all friends with the people I don't like so I don't really talk to them... He's so cute though haha I wish i did talk to him... Oh well that will never happen.. That's my rant on flirting. I hate boys but I love boys...
Xoxo Megan

Depression & Anxiety

So as most of you know I used to be suicidal and I still struggle with depression. Well I'm struggling right now and I don't really know what to do because there is no reason for it and that pisses me off like there is no reason! Like what the fuck!? I think it's partially because I've been feeling lonely even though I know that breaking up with my ex was the right thing to do still it doesn't mean I want to be alone. I'm sick of being the friend who helps guys get the girls they want when they are the guys I could want it's so frustrating! Like why do I have to want everyone else to be happy but I don't seem to want myself to be happy! I can't stand myself. I'm just kinda done trying. I'm done chasing after any guys if they want me come get me (but be gentlemen). I'm just done putting people who don't care about me ahead of myself.
Xoxo Megan

What I Like in a Guy

Let's start with a list shall we, no particular order I'll dive further into it in a moment
1. Funny
2. Sweet
3. Kind
4. Isn't a huge slacker
5. Likes to cuddle but isn't annoyingly touchy feely
6. Good looking
7. Active
8. Someone I can be comfortable with but still excited to see
9. My best friend but also someone I love
10. Not full of themselves
11. Doesn't text a bunch of other girls all the time

So those are some of the things I want in a guy. I want someone who makes me laugh because my dad is so funny and I love to laugh. Sweet because who wants to date an asshole? Same with kind. Even though I'm in high school I don't really want to be with someone who slacks off and doesn't care about school or where they are going with their lives. I'm not hugely touchy feely but I want someone who wants to hug and kiss and cuddle but not like on me while I'm trying to talk to my friends or whatever. Don't even try to call me a bitch for wanting someone good looking, everybody wants someone they find some what good looking. We all know physical attraction is what makes you want to talk to someone in the first place! I like active because I'm active and if the guy is sitting around while I'm out I feel awful. I love the nervous feeling when you see someone you like but you still comfortably talk to them. I want someone I can tell my secrets to but still finds me sexy and attractive. I personally find humble very attractive having a massive ego is a huge turn off! Texting like 5 other girls when you're dating me is a massive deal breaker sorry but no. That's what I want in a guy.
Xoxo Megan