Struggling

The past few months have been really hard for me, I have had an extremely hard time even just getting out of bed. I've felt so alone even though I'm not even close to being alone, I have so many friends who genuinely care about me I'm so lucky. I'm just trying to figure out what I want, and I have no idea how to do that. I'm just a kid but I feel like I should have everything figured out, but I don't! I had my first kiss recently I'm not talking to the guy anymore but he was really nice so I don't regret it. Something just keeps stopping me from being with anyone and I don't really know why, it's like the minute it gets serious I freak and run away. So I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now but I guess we'll have to figure it out... Thanks for listening.
Xoxo Megan